so tired....i wanna cry....i hate this torment.i cannot bend my neck at all.it hurts way too much.and all i just wish for now is that all my exam papers would somehow get burnt or torn or soaked.i hate being at this crossroads and at this stage of life.

im seriously starting to get addicted to blogging...why???anyway,just to update on my life after so very long.

spm is on monday,and im onlining still.

i am not prepared,yet im delaying my studying till later in the afternoon.the result of that will probably be frantic studying til the wee hours.

i have had a crush that evolved into a relationship and wilted back into friendship.tell me why again i get involved with guys?

i lost very very little weight for the 2005 grad night and gained it all back and more the very day after.

by sheer silliness and merely based on two pathetic catwalks i was made miss mgs 2005.it cannot get lamer than that,cos yoke mun deserved it.talk about bias.

my hair is taking a very long time to grow long.

im going off in dec for a student exchange program in spain.that is probably the highlight in my life now.ONLY highlight.

speaking of highlight,i wanna highlight my hair red.muahahaha....i'll look so funny.

heard this thing called 'work and travel usa',am really interested,must find out more.

i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate.

why must ppl say stuff that piss me off??!!i know lar its mostly my fault for being so sensitive and easily annoyed.little bit oso gets on my nerves.but really lor..
i cannot tahan already.

they say stuff that makes me pissed(i know that im pissed bcos there's truth in what they say)and i hate being pissed.but its not easy to change lar.u think wat?im a robot is it?can reprogram wan.im NOT lar.when i get al pissy i feel so bloody guilty but my ego is so great that i cant break down to apologise.ppl who know me and have gone thru it b4,im sorry.

i wish that i could change.be someone better.not be so sensitive and easily angered or irritated.come on ppl,dun u think i wanna change??!!i want to sooo badly,oh so very badly.but i cant...im not some versatile human that evolves to suit the situation.i wish that i could be a happy go lucky person,someone that can listen to all the problems in the world and help solve them.i wish that i could bring joy into someone's life.i wish that i could make everyone happy.i wish i never was so horrible.i wish so much,but they never come true.i wish i could understand ppl better.

how many sorrys can i say?how should i seek ur forgiveness?go dow on my knees?kowtow before u?kiss ur feet?do ur chores?do ur homework?

i wanna be different.not someone that is so unstable.so stupid.so flaky.so easily swayed by what others say.so absolutely USELESS.

and why why must ppl always ask me stuff that i dun wanna talk abt?why do they suggest that i do stuff that i dun wanna do?and they know that i dun like to talk abt it,yet they keep on harping abt it.and why do i have to be so easily hurt?

i feel so selfconscious too.wish i could lose 15 pounds.nope,not wish,WILL lose 15 pounds.no matter how.not holdin back anything.

jo,no one understands u.they think they do,but they dont,and they never will.ostracise urself from all mankind.thats probably the best. dun need frens to survive.be a hermit,yeah thats good,u can be ur own fren.look,I'M ur fren.i'll take the place of the frens u cant stand....oh no....insanity looms up in the distance.haha,i'll probably be in the asylum by the time school's over.

*note to self=sorry is the most useless word ever.not appreciated,never sounds sincere,spoken too often to be believed.

the ppl i love being separated from me.whether anot by god or bcos of me.i'll never love again.i dun wanna.my heart's too exposed to torture.i wont suffer the pain i went thru anymore.if there are those who wanna break of our relationship,go ahead.u have the green light.i wont resist.take up the golden opportunity.dun hide ur true feelings.if thats what it takes.then fine,i'll do it.

CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!!!i can't wait for my pressies!!!hehe..i noe i sound like this materialistic gal...and that i dun deny..BUT..there's a limit,dun worry ppl,i wont force all of u to get me stuff.just a few SPECIAL ppl...lolz.

neway,recently came back from SYC 2004.seriously had the time of my life.its sooo much fun and i met sooo many cool ppl...sigh,thinking of it just makes me miss them all the more. i miss everyone sooo much,especially a few ppl that i have really gotten to know better.

a shoutout to roshni,tirza and grace(my bubble bath buddies)..."I MISS YOU GALS!!!"

well,to relate my whole experience in singapore would take a long time,and that i do not hv.basically,it was great.no other words to describe. and i found out stuff abt myself that i never knew before.my confidence level in myself has been recharged and my ego over-inflated...its a wonder i can actually get thru doorways...haha

anyway,talking abt the ppl i met...i really really really REALLY hope that the friendships i made will last for life.some ppl have shown me that differences can be bridged by just a simple desire to bond together.and to someone out there...thanks for being an awesome friend and really appreciate it.

FRIENDS FOR LIFE!!!!!

hello peeps!!!!i'm in SINGAPORE rite now!this camp has truly truly been the funnest camp i hv gone for in this year!!!meeting loads of ppl from the ASEAN countries and uk and india,this has truly been an experience.can't really remember wat we did cos im soooo bloody sleepy...
BUT...will update soon enough...dun miss me k??